PREPARE FOR THE END! Or not…: New End Of The World On Aug. 23rd

Gregory Rasputin Predicts The End Of The World

Yet another end of the world has been announced and now it’s the turn of Russia’s favorite mad monk: Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, who predicted the world would end in a great ball of fire! Yes, Folks, besides being a mad man and the queen’s secret lover, Rasputin was also a prophet and made quite a few predictions. And we’ve had our share of predictions here at Paranoid News, haven’t we? So what’s the catch this time? Well, turns out that several of Rasputin’s predictions actually came true! So this one must not be taken lightly. Despite all the other ones that failed miserably to predict the end of the world. ‘Cause, well, we’re still here, so it obviously hasn’t happened yet. But you never know, maybe this is the one! Probably not. Still, if you’re Paranoid like me, hit the break to learn more.

Domsday Clock One Minute Closer To Midnight. One Minute Closer To Destruction!!!!!

The Doomsday Clock Is Seen Showing Five Minutes To Midnight

Because 6 minutes till midnight apparently wasn’t enough, scientists from the board of directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists at the University of Chicago moved the Doomsday Clock’s hands 1 minute closer to midnight, letting the world know how fundamentally f***ed up the future of humanity really is. And I am not surprised. Not one little bit. I mean, all those nuclear wang-waving contests and nuclear incidents had to pay off somehow, right? Truth be told is that since the invention of the nuclear bomb human race have always been on the brink of total annihilation. In fact, I am quite surprised we are not even closer to midnight, ’cause from where I’m standing, it looks like we are really closer than you’d think.

Hit the break to learn more and weep for humanity.

Part Of A French Nuclear Waste Plant Goes Kaboom. No Radioactive Material Leaked Out. Or So They Say.

Marcoule Nuclear Plant

Incredible! This is the third nuclear incident so far this year!! 1 person died and at least four others are injured after an explosion was reported in a nuclear waste plant in France. No leaks were reported but as with Fukushima that could be a dirty lie to keep the people from panicking and keep the investor’s money on the nuclear power. Which reminds me, I would like to think that we’ve learned our lesson with Fukushima and we’d do safety checks in the rest of the nuclear plants around the world but apparently the nuclear energy people have become more stupid with time because we’ve got another two nuclear incidents since Fukushima when there should’ve been none!! I am amazed how these people fail to understand the inherent dangers of nuclear power and keep using the same old-ass technology prone to “accidents” and failures.

Hit the break to read more about this incident.

Another Date To Worry About: World Will End In September 25th. In A Horrible, Horrible Way!

Elenin Alex Retrov

Just when you thought you’d be safe until December 21st 2012, here comes another world-ending prophecy. This time pertaining the comet/asteroid/alien space ship thing or whatever the hell it is: Elenin. This is what the government have been getting ready for. This is what is going to end the world as we know it! This. Is. It!!! At least according to Alex Retrov, who is giving lectures about how everything is going to go down (in flames, probably).
Now, before I let you watch that video, I must warn you, the video that I am going to post after the break, will make you Paranoid. I’m serious about this, you’ll be running in circles with your arms up in the air screaming “THE END IS NEAR!! THE END IS NEAR !!!!”. I know ’cause I did the same. So unless you have horse tranquilizers to calm yourself down afterwards I do not advise you to watch the video.

Hit the break to watch 57 minutes of “OH SHIT! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!”

Cherno-shima, Now In American Flavor?: Nuclear Power Plant In Ohio Is Showing High Radiation Levels!

Perry Nuclear Power Plant

On April 22 the Perry Nuclear Power Plant was evacuated due to  high radiation levels. There are no casualties reported but several workers were exposed to the equivalent of 3 chest x-rays, which apparently is within the ‘safe’ limits, according to the NRC. Fortunately for residents of North Perry, Ohio, this was a ‘minor’ incident, but left open the question of whether the plant is safe or not and quite frankly, after Fukushima, I don’t know anymore what plant is safe, probably none. Cause as you know they were falsifying safety reports and telling everyone that everything was fine and dandy and look what happened! Now Godzilla has a brain tumor! Who is going to terrorize Tokyo now? Huh? I tell you who, the busted Daichii Nuclear Plant, that’s who! I’d rather go with Godzilla  :-? At least people die instantly, crushed by his mighty foot and not get cancer and suffer for several years, going through incredibly expensive chemotherapies.

Hit the break to learn more.

The Scary Truth About Fukushima, Chernobyl And Radiation In General And What You Can Do To Survive It. Plus A Cool Chart Of Radiation Dosage!

Radiation Chart

Click HERE to view the full radiation dosage chart, cause the picture above shows what’s merely the tip of the radioactive iceberg!

We’ve all heard and read about the Fukushima nuclear disaster, but, just how bad is it and how is it going to affect you, regardless of the part of the world you live in? That’s right, I said affect you! Helen Caldicott, an Australian physician says the situation could be even worse than you think (don’t they all say that?). Dr. Caldicott goes even further and claims that the worst effects of Chernobyl have been suppressed from the media, that half of Europe is still radioactive 25 years after the incident and that Chernobyl is a mere malfunction compared to Fukushima! And let me tell you folks, if shit is half as bad as she says, we are royally screwed as a species!
Also, on a side note, to the engineers who invented  nuclear power plants: WTF WERE YOU THINKING?!?! Using radioactive shit to boil water that in turn moves turbines!? How come nobody thought this could happen?  :-?

Hit the break to get paranoid watch a video of Helen explaining everything and to read some advices on what you can do to save your ass from the radiation poisoning.

Horseman Of The Apocalypse Sighted During A Riot In Egypt!

Horseman Of The Apocalypse

When I saw Jersey Shore the other day I realized the end was close, I mean just look at it! It’s like being slowly lobotomized! But if watching Oompa-loompas doing shenanigans on TV is not enough to convince you that the Earth is going to crack open to drown us all in a sea of hot magma, here’s yet another sign that the end is nearing: Now the horsemen of the apocalypse are starting to make public appearances!

Hit the break to watch an eerie video!

Prepare For Armageddon!: Lunar Eclipse And Winter Solstice Will Happen At The Same Time Tonight!

Lunar Eclipse Red Moon

Yes, for the first time in 372 years, the Winter solstice will be announced by a lunar eclipse! If that is not a sign of the end of times I don’t know what is. Perhaps only a deadly plague or a comet shower would be more convincing than this. Did I mention that the moon will turn red? Yes, and not from shame. Apparently some bullshit atmospheric effect involving sunlight and the earth’s atmosphere will give the moon a reddish tint. Just perfect for an apocalyptic landscape! Hope the four horsemen are dressed for the occasion.

Hit the break to read more.

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