Category Archives: Freedom of Speech

SOPA, Now In European Flavor, They Call It ACTA!!!

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Stop ACTA

You know what they call SOPA in France? They call it a royale with cheese  ACTA! You know why they call it ACTA? Because they have the metric system!! Ok, that didn’t make any sense, but to be fair, neither does ACTA.
Yes, Folks, if you were celebrating that SOPA did not pass this week and you thought that was it for that idea, I am going to have to piss on your parade. Partly because I had a bit too much beer but mostly because it’s not over. A new law called ACTA is now being considered in Europe and could possibly spell the end for the Internet as Europeans we know it. Hit the break to read more about ACTA.

The People Behind SOPA Are The Ones Responsible For A Good Share Of All The Piracy On The Internet, SO THEY HAVE AN EXCUSE TO SHUT IT DOWN!!!!1!!11!!!

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SOPA Evidence!

Did you know that the folks pushing this fakakta law are the same people responsible for a good share of today’s online piracy? It’s true! Why did they do it, you may ask? You don’t need to be a genius to realize that the people pushing SOPA are TV network owners and music industry tycoons, ’cause after all they are the ones who are ‘losing’ money to online piracy but that is not the real reason they are pushing SOPA!
You see, the only reason they flooded the Internet pipes with piracy is to file this law and then start shutting down web sites by filing frivolous copyright suits!! All they want is to control the online entertainment industry!!! Just like I want to control the extraterrestrial fast food industry!! (Trust me, it’ll be great after we are invaded by aliens in 2012)

Hit the break for 15 minutes of hard-cold evidence!

Goodbye Internet: Internet Kill Switch Ready To Be Used. They Call It SOPA.

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Internet Kill Switch BillClick HERE for big-ass full size version.

Remember that Internet kill switch I’ve been warning you about all this time? It’s here! Yes, Folks, it may not seem like a lot but appearances can be deceiving. If this bill passes, if you let this happen, then the sky is the limit for these people! You can kiss goodbye the Internet you know and love and your freedom of speech.
And remember, Folks, this bill is being pushed by the exact same people who twist, bend and distort the existing laws to their own benefit! Laws that are meant to serve the regular Joe Schmoe, not some white shoe fat cat! They are not going to get the real criminals (partly because they are the criminals), they are out to smother their competitors and anyone whose opinion they don’t agree with!
It doesn’t matter whether you are an American citizen or not, if this law passes in America, believe me, it will soon extend to the rest of the globe.

Hit the break for more info and a  video


US Marines Join #OWS To Defend Protesters From Douchebag Policemen On Power Trips!!!

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US Marine Defending Protesters

You may think that here at Paranoid News we like to be Paranoid all the time, running in circles with our arms up in the air, screaming “We’re all gonna die!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!”. And that is not entirely true, we also like, from time to time, to give you hope. That is why I am posting this one news item for a change.

As you may remember, the Occupy Wall Street movement quickly escalated into clashes between the police and the protesters, leading later to police brutality against some of the peaceful protesters. Last week that police brutality took a turn for the worse when a 24-year-old Marine and Iraq war veteran by the name of Scott Olsen was critically injured by a tear gas canister that was shot directly into his head, he remains in critical condition. Now all the other marines are like “WTF!?  :disapprove: ” and want to protect the Occupy Wall Street protesters!!

Hit the break to learn more and watch a video!

TSA To Grab Your Junk At NFL Games!

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TSA Proctology Exam

Ever wanted to get raped in the back alley of a p0rn theater? Now you don’t have to go watch adult movies to get inappropriately fondled, you can do it from the comfort of your favorite sports event! That’s right! For [un]limited time now you too can get molested at your favorite sports event!!
And if you bring any suspicious object with you, you can sign for the full cavity search! But wait, there’s more! If you are one of the randomly chosen people at the sports event you can win a trip to Guantanamo for you and your family, where you will get to be called a “terrorist”, get water boarded (does wonders for your allergies) or spend some quality time with yourself in solitary confinement!!!

Sadly that was not a joke. Hit the break to read more.

Huge UFO Hoax Planned For The Day After The Rapture!

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vanonymous

Anonymous, the anarchic group of ‘hacktivists’ who stand for social justice, ‘lulz’ and God knows what else, better known for bringing down MasterCard, Visa and PayPal are planning a massive prank for the day after the rapture, May 22. If the world is still there, I mean.
The prank consists of  filing thousands of false (and possibly homosexual) reports of sightings to sites like this with the sole objective of WTF. In their own words, just for the ‘lulz’. To which I reply, don’t you have anything better to do? Like painting a giant digital pen0r on some financial terrorist‘s website or something? I mean, why pick on the weak when you can kick some big fish ass and get some lawlz in the process? There are people who deserve it more than we (the UFO enthusiasts) do.

Hit the break and learn more.

First Steps Towards Net Neutering: The Alex Jones Show Faces Google & YouTube Ban

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Alex Jones Banned

One of the biggest obstacles faced by the people who want to end Network neutrality (namely Google) is Alex Jones. Now they are trying to get rid of him just like I tried to get rid of the cockroaches in my kitchen. Seriously folks, it’s getting out of control, it’s like they developed intelligence or something! (must be all those products with preservatives I buy). Last night I overheard one of them saying something about “kidnapping the one with the orange head!!” and I’m the only one with orange hair in this house, my mother has gray hair!!!
Anyhow, I digress. My point is, that, unlike the cockroaches in my kitchen, we do need Alex Jones! Real and non-biased, alternative media is so scarce this days. And in any case, regardless of if we need Alex or not. I think that suppressing freedom of speech is a crime.

Hit the break to watch the video, read more and get outraged.

Net Neutering: Goodbye Net Neutrality, You’ll Be Missed

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Goodbye Net Neutrality

Why is this important to you? For starters do you even know what the heck network neutrality is? For those who don’t, Network neutrality (a.k.a. Net neutrality or Internet neutrality)  is the basic right that every Internet user has of getting no restrictions on the content the user decides to watch or download (unless, of course it is illegal). Meaning that your Internet provider or government has no right whatsoever of blocking, restricting or slowing down any content on the Internet or charging you more for the content you browse. But as we previously have seen, the government and the globalists don’t give a dead rat’s left gonad about your rights and they are going to do it anyways.

Until this Tuesday, there were 95 House and Senate candidates supporting Net neutrality, all of them gone. In other words, you can kiss Net neutrality goodbye! We’ve got to do something!! Otherwise I’ll have to get a life! And I don’t like it outside, there’s too much fresh air and people! I don’t like people.

Hit the break and learn more.

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