Illustration courtesy of Armando from Redcrow Design

Unlike Paranoid Products, Paranoid Health is not going to be a regular section of this website, it’s just that health is one of those topics I am more paranoid about than any other topic.

The past Sunday I went to visit my buddy and we had a breakfast together, his wife fixed us some bacon & eggs with some really tasty spicy sauce and some tortillas. Now, I was slightly worried that the spicy sauce was going to be a screaming nightmare in its way out of my system, but my main concern was the 2 pounds of bacon I stuffed my stomach with that evening. By the night of that day I was already getting all anxious and paranoid about the imminent heart attack I was going to get for all that damn cholesterol! Later that night, I googled my ass off to see if I can calm myself down if I find some hard facts and I was relieved by what I found.

(WUSA) — A researcher at the University of Texas in Houston says go ahead, eat that bacon. Dr. Nathan Bryan believes bacon is good for your heart. In fact, he says it could stop a heart attack.

Earlier research said bacon should be avoided because it contains nitrates. That research found nitrates could lead to cancer. But Dr. Bryan believes otherwise. “You should not avoid eating bacon because of the nitrate content,” Bryan said. “If anything, the nitrate content is what protects our heart during a heart attack.”

Bryan’s research finds the nitrates in bacon forms a nitric oxide gas in the body. That can reopen blocked arteries, especially during a heart attack.
Written by Dan Guzman
9NEWS NOW

I don’t have to tell you that I was more than relieved. I don’t want to have a heart attack! Who will hide the tons of porn I have in my room!? take care of Mom? she’s an elderly woman and she has no one but me!

Click HERE to visit wusa9.com and see the actual article, which I entirely copied/pasted there for your peace of mind (in case you are a bacon lover like me) I am going to enjoy some bacon now that I know it will not cause my heart to explode.