Remember how we all laughed about Scientology and dismissed it as complete and utter bullshit? Well, turns out that at least the alien part might have some traces of truth. Or at least a lower dose of bullshit, ’cause some UFOs have actually been spotted hovering over Britain’s Scientology headquarters. These UFO sightings were reported by none other than commercial airline pilots! And let me tell you something, Folks, they don’t let just any wacko to fly these planes! So you can say these are high-credibility witnesses. Not like that guy who collects jars of urine in his fridge and makes tinfoil hats out of chocolate wrappers. A credible witness makes his tinfoil hats out of quality tinfoil dammit!
See this is why I’m afraid of flying, Folks. Not gremlins, not terrorism. Mid-air collisions! ‘Cause God knows what else is flying out there along with your plane! And I’m not talking about other man-made air traffic, it’s the other kind of air traffic that scares me; the one that does not appear on radar screens, the kind that no one tells you about until it’s right in front of you!! They are usually referred to as UFO’s regardless of their actual origin ’cause they are unknown flying objects.
Hundreds of jet pilots admit they’ve seen at least one of these objects flying right in front of their ships, however there are no witnesses of the collisions actually happening. Then again, when there’s an accident mid-air there aren’t many witnesses left at all except for the ones who saw it happen from a safe distance.
An Air China plane was hit by unknown object on 8,000 meters ( 26246feet ) altitude this morning. The plane was flying from Chengdu to Guangzhou, however, the plane was hit by an unknown object and was forced to return. The plane has returned safely without injury.
Some net users joked: “is it hit by Iron Man? Or by the trash from plane ahead, or rear-end collision? How can bird fly to 8,000 meters? Even if a bird hit the plane, why the broken area is so large? “
So what do you think happened here? Look at the size and shape of the dent. The best we can do is speculate about what it could be; Perhaps a rounded body, of about 2-3 feet in diameter, it wasn’t traveling very fast either (like a meteorite), or the plane would’ve been crashed. The black residues on the plane’s nose suggest that the object was either painted black or was made out of a black material. So my best guess is that the plane hit a stealthy surveillance drone. Unless extraterrestrial crafts are also painted black.
So turns out yet anotherUFO entered an active Mexican volcano called Popocatepetl and was caught on camera. AGAIN! That’s right, Folks, what at first I thought to be a re-post turned out to be an entirely new occurrence! As you may (or may not) remember, in October 2012 a UFO was caught on camera entering the volcanic crater of the Popocatepetl!! In both occasions the video was analyzed by experts, who allegedly didn’t find anything wrong with the footage but they dismissed the idea that this could be some kind of vessel, for it would melt at the extremely high temperatures of the volcano‘s interior. Nevertheless, this time around the resident expert, Marc Dantonio, chief photo and video analyst of the Mutual UFO Network says this is in fact an aircraft, however the video lacks the quality to confirm whether this is a terrestrial or an extra-terrestrial ship.
Hit the break to learn more and watch a very worthwhile video.
If I had a nickel for every single claim I heard about the discovery of Atlantis, I would have about a quarter. But I’m pretty sure there have been hundreds of them along the years, probably thousands, so if I heard every single one of them I’d still have like 50 bucks, which is not a lot but that is not the point! The point is, that for every claim there’s an equally valid counter-claim to prove it wrong. Most of these counter-claims are based on the fact that all the Atlantises (or at least most of them) were not found in the area spoken of in the ancient lore. Except probably for the Bimini Road but even that one has its counter-claim. It is said to be a natural formation carved by underwater currents. This newly found underwater city, however, can’t be anything but an ancient, submerged settlement. Unless those pesky underwater currents were talented enough to carve buildings and pyramids.
Hit the break to read more and watch a couple of worthwhile videos!
Remember that post Marty Crapper made some time ago about honey bees going extinct? Well, it turns out that perhaps the reasons why they are going extinct may have lied right in front of our faces the whole time. It was Monsanto‘s plan all along and we didn’t even notice! And I’m not just randomly pointing fingers (yes I am), I have real evidence backing my claim (sort of).
However, whether or not Monsanto is doing it isn’t even the real question here, what you should ask yourselves is: Why would Monsanto want to exterminate honey bees? Why do they need them dead so desperately when it’s honeybees that mostly pollinate the crops! It’s because of honeybees that we’re able to plant things! Hit the break to find out and read more about how life on Earth from now on is just going to suck balls.
It’s hard to get lost nowadays with all that GPS technology now available, you just type your destination and you find it right away! If you’ve ever been lost somewhere and you own one, you know the advantages of a good GPS system, it sure has saved my rear end a couple of times. But what if I told you that those advantages may soon become disadvantages? That’s right, Folks, due to the recent surge in strong earthquakes your GPS may soon become useless! Recent studies show that ground-based GPS systems are being affected by big earthquakes since the year 2000, rendering the data obtained from these sources inaccurate.
I don’t know you, Folks, but I do use GPS from time to time and the least I expect from it is that the damn thing points me in the right direction. ‘Cause that’s literally all it does. That’s the one and only job that the GPS has. If it doesn’t do that job it’s freaking useless!!!
Hit the break to read more about how trying to find that one address will be harder in the future!
Seven people were hospitalized, two of which are now dead in Dothan, Alabama, all due to a new, mysterious respiratory illness. Three more cases have been reported ever since, making a whopping total of 10 cases!
State health officials are running tests on all of the samples to determine what this new illness is and where it came from but something tells me this one was imported from somewhere in Asia. China, to be precise. And if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, here’s what’s -probably- going on: It turns out that two weeks ago a deadly new strain of the avian flu known as H7N9 was discovered in China. The bug has already infected at least 127 people in China, 27 of which have died (read THIS post to find out more). Whether or not the bug killing folks in Alabama is the same or not is debatable, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be the case. America and China exchange tourists and workers more often than they both are willing to admit. Hit the break to learn more.
If you are a regular here at Paranoid News you probably already know that bananas are radioactive due to the presence of a radioactive isotope in them called Potassium-40 but did you know they can kill cancer too? And before you jump to silly conclusions, no it’s not the radioactivity what kills the cancer. It’s not like they are good for chemotherapy. No, Folks, it turns out that bananas produce a chemical known as TNF (Tumor Necrosis Factor) when they ripe, which happens to kill abnormal or cancerous cells! Which is great, ’cause now perhaps we could just feed our old, black, nasty bananas to cancer patients and cure them instead of just throwing them away in the garbage (The bananas, not the patients). In fact I hate ripe bananas, call me unhealthy (by this article’s standards) but I honestly prefer the yellow ones so I would gladly give them away to save cancer patients.
Hit the break to read more about the anti-carcinogen properties of ripe bananas.